The UK’s Top 10 Quietest Beaches

So you want to know where the UK’s top-10 quietest beaches are?

 

As in the top-10 least-populated stretches of blissful white sand that the union has to offer?

 

Sh*t – you think that I know the location of ten pristine and peaceful beaches, and what I’m going to do with that information is just freely dish it out to the internet?

 

The reason why these beaches are so quiet is precisely because you’re not there, and it would be criminal of me to f*ck that up.

 

Still though – if you’re looking for something a bit more your speed – here’s the UK’s top-10 biggest sh*tholes:

 

FLIMBY

Free cars though.

Free cars though.

 

SKEGNESS

ftwd-s2-e2-zombies-on-the-beach

The waves of zombies are at least tidal we hear.

 

EDINBURGH

Just full of idiots who think that they're planes.

Just full of idiots who think that they’re planes.

 

ROBIN HOOD BAY

Free drugs for horses.

Free drugs for horses.

 

CORNWALL

Disco popo

Disco popo

 

BIRMINGHAM

Rampant dog-napping

Rampant dog-napping

 

SOVIET RUSSIA

Technically not in the UK or even this point in time, but worth noting that in Soviet Russia, donkey rides you. Although by "worth mentioning," obviously what I mean is "not worth mentioning."

Technically not in the UK or even this point in time, but worth noting that in Soviet Russia, donkey rides you. Although by “worth mentioning,” obviously what we mean is “not worth mentioning.”

 

PWLHELI

Predatory boulders

Predatory boulders

 

BANGOR

Beach stained red with the blood of this seal's many enemies

Beach stained red with the blood of this seal’s many enemies

 

HOGWARTS

Where Santa Claus chills for every day of the year that isn't Christmas. Which sounds cool, but you need to bear in mind how many brussel sprouts that guy gets through.

Where Santa Claus chills for every day of the year that isn’t Christmas. Which sounds cool, but you need to bear in mind how many brussel sprouts that guy gets through.

 

 

LIKE US ON FACEBOOK here, TWITTER here, or share this post with the buttons below:

You can also support the site by clicking the image below and buying one of our books:

001 Annual and Britan Ferst Bible-01

Inline