NWO Faking Terror Attacks Because They’re Squeamish About Actual Murder

When it was first noticed that (allegedly) the same people were appearing as bystanders at multiple terrorist attacks, the conspiracy crowd decided that these people must be ‘crisis actors’ – i.e. people who are paid to turn up at false-flag events and pretend to be distraught.


These crisis-actors cleverly change their faces with surgery in between attacks, whilst simultaneously not altering their more easily changeable features at all – features like hairstyles – because…







I guess just because the more convoluted and inexplicable a plan is, the more that you know it’s been formulated by those geniuses behind the NWO, because they’re always ten moves ahead – you know? Like a chess master playing a dead goat at Twister.


Anyway – to find out why the NWO are creating false-flag terror attacks, we spoke to the group’s leader and lottery syndicate organiser – one Jacob Rothschild:


HT: “So, Jacob – why not simply carry out actual terrorist attacks?”


JR: “Well, if I’m honest, we’re all just a bit squeamish about killing people.”


HT: “But your long term plan does involve killing everyone, right?”


JR: “Well, yes, but we’re building ourselves up to it.”


HT: “You killed people with 9/11 though didn’t you?”


JR: “Ah – no – it was actually all staged. Do you remember when David Copperfield made the Statue of Liberty disappear? Well, while that was happening, we actually had the Twin Towers dismantled and carried away, and then replaced them with a giant cardboard cut-out.”


HT: “So it’s cut-outs every time?”


JR: “No, sometimes we use fake bombs, but we still need to use the crisis actors – because when a normal person is confronted by what appears to be a genuine terrorist attack, they typically don’t have very much of a reaction to it. Don’t ask me why – but that’s why we need to employ professionals to stand around and feign distress. It just wouldn’t be realistic otherwise, because the way that people react in real-life is just very unnatural.”


HT: “How very odd.”


JR: “Isn’t it? It’s probably because of all that gluten we’re showering you with from our aeroplanes.”


HT: “So all of the people who witnessed these attacks are actors then? What about The Eagles of Death Metal? They were playing at the Paris attack – are you saying that they work for you?”


JR: “Yes – they’re all actors, I’m afraid. Their music was actually written by myself and Pope Francis, and we just hired some greasy, long-haired bozos to tour the albums and tell lies about Muslims.”


HT: “Genius. I mean – none of it makes any sense, obviously – but I assume that’s just because you’re so many moves ahead.”


JR: “Indubitably. Although I’m afraid that now you know our secret, I simply can’t let you leave.”


HT: “Is that a pistol? You do realise that the secret you told me is that you don’t have the stomach for murder, right?”


JR: “Umm.”


HT: “And I’m pretty sure that your pistol is a toy.”


JR: “I can assure you that it isn’t.”


HT: “Any money that if I pull the trigger a little flag with the word ‘BANG’ pops out of it.”




HT: “Uh oh.”



Thankfully, however, it turned out that the thing that I shot was actually just one of Rothschild’s many clones, or possibly some sort of shape-shifting chameleon man, or perhaps even a robot?


Whatever sort of sh*t you fancy, really – just go wherever your imagination takes you – because no matter how outlandish you claim things to be, there’ll always be someone out there who believes you.



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