A child has been left nonplussed this past weekend after an unfortunate encounter with 22 men who were cosplaying characters from the popular video game Fifa 2016.
We spoke to the boy in question – a young Welsh gentleman by the name of Gavin Pwlheli – to find out exactly what went down:
“Well I was playing Fifa 2016 one day when my da’ says to me, ‘you love that football, don’t you, Gav?’ I looked at him and I said, ‘Football? What’s that then?’
“He says to me, ‘you know – like the game you’re playing.’ I thought ‘what a wally – thinking Fifa 2016 is called football just because the players all kick the ball with their foots.’
“I was just gonna ignore him, but then he asks me if I wanna go and see the real thing. I thought he meant go and watch someone play it on a big telly and that, but when we got there it was some big stadium or something, and on the field were 22 guys doing that LARPing business – you know – as in that live-action role playing sh*t.
“I said to my da’ – ‘this is embarrassing this – they don’t look anything like the players from the game.’ He laughed at me and said ‘don’t worry – the graphics will get better in a few years time’ – as if the game was the problem!
“Obviously I was well embarrassed about having to watch these 22 bell-ends pretend to do a real life Fifa 2016, so I just tried to keep my head down, but after the game my da’ tried introducing me to some of the cosplayers.
“I was so mortified that I just passed out to try and get away from them. They were actually so bad at acting that they made Fifa 2016 graphics look like Fifa 95 Gameboy Edition.”
As a result of Fifa 2016’s success, LARPing is now more popular than ever – the various teams who role-play it have set up their own leagues, and several pages now being dedicated to its coverage in the UK’s premier spoof newspaper – The Sun.
If you want to know what it’s like to watch one of these real-life re-enactments, it’s basically just like the game – only it takes a lot longer, the players fall over for no reason due to some sort of collision glitch, and instead of making the characters move with a joypad, you instead have to scream profanities at them and throw toilet rolls.
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