Far-Right Fury as Flag Washes up on Shore Slightly Soiled

Members of the British far-right have been left devastated this morning after learning that one of their precious flags was pulled into the sea by an errant wind – the couple who owned it having left it unguarded on their cruise ship sun lounger – the rectangular symbol of Englishness later washing up on the shore of the Fylde Coast in a state of slight yet noticeable disrepair.

 

We spoke to one of the grieving patriots – one Stan Donyerneck – to find out the depth of these people’s feelings on the matter:

 

“I can’t believe it – I’m just cut up. Who did that flag ever hurt? Nobody – that’s who – and now it’s gonna be ripped up for dish cloths or used as a painting and f*cking decorating sheet.

 

“Just think what that flag could have grown up to be if this hadn’t happened. It could have been flown at an England game or draped over a second fridge in the garage to make it look proper smart. Or better yet – wrapped around my face as a make-shift balaclava so that I could anonymously shout at some foreign tw*t and his kids about how proud I am to be British

 

“It sickens me how little regard people in this country have for flags. Did you know that over ten flags are blown into the sea each year and soiled slightly as a result? Will the government put out a special regiment of flag saving lifeguards though? No – will they fuck – because all of that money’s going on fishing Arab kids out of the Mediterranean Sea, isn’t it!

 

“Like I said – it’s sickening.”

 

 

Oh, and we should have warned you that this article contains potentially harrowing images of flags in mild distress – so you know – if you’re easily affected by that sort of sh*t – maybe you should have thought about that before accidentally having stumbled upon this story.

 

 

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