Jeremy Irons Accidentally Eats Live Cat in Interview

It seemed like the BBC had hit another all time low earlier today, when Jeremy Irons accidentally uttered an expletive during a live interview – the veteran thespian lacking the common decency to have committed this atrocity in private, so that the broadcasting corporation could have at least covered it up and continued to offer him lucrative television work in the meanwhile.


The Beeb attempted to make up for the travesty by frog-marching Irons back to the studio he’d irreparably stained with his filthy mouth, but in the middle of the apology a cat wandered into the room, and Jeremy accidentally lunged forwards and ate it whole like a demented morlock.


Everyone in the studio was obviously horrified by the unexpected act of pussicide – although Irons attempted to excuse himself by blaming it on the studio’s “relaxed atmosphere.”


“Too relaxed,” Chris Evans said in response, as he popped a stress-ball with Jeremy Clarkson’s saggy face drawn on it within his furious, ginger fist.


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In response, the BBC have launched a multi-million pound enquiry into how this latest scandal could have occurred – an enquiry which will no doubt just be a copy-and-paste of the last one – with the word ‘Saville’ replaced by ‘Irons,’ and the words ‘not really our fault’ left entirely intact.



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