People have often wondered how you become a columnist for The Sun – assuming that anyone who applied would have to possess an unbelievably broad range of experience – experience which would include:
- Handling raw sewage,
- At least an E in GCSE English,
- At least an F in GCSE History,
- Ability to type fast enough to chronicle your awful thought-process as it occurs,
- Willingness to pose for a header photo in which you have your arms folded,
- Hair cut.
As it turns out, however, all potential columnists are considered solely on the basis of how they answer a simple application form – an application form which we have somehow managed to get our eager little paws on:
If you would like to apply for a job at The Sun yourself, application forms can be summoned by sacrificing a moderately evil-looking goat in the disabled toilet of your local McDonalds.
Or you can just download one from their website.
But where’s the fun in that?
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